Am I Addicted to my Dog?

I would never want to fly on an airplane without my husband.  Not only does it make me nauseous, but flying triggers my fear of dying.  And if I was going to perish prematurely in a giant ball of flames, well, I wanted Bo right there with me.

I don’t feel this way anymore.  Now if the plane is going down, I want one of us to stay alive just to take care of our puppy.

Hi, my name is Marissa and I think I might be addicted to my dog.

I’ve never had a drinking problem, never did drugs, and I can't really see the appeal of gambling.  So I surely didn't expect this crazy, aching anxiety that I feel when I'm away from my dog.

It's not a feeling I understand really.  After all, this special someone in my life is mesmerized by daddy long legs and loves rubbing his face in bird poop.

Finding the Perfect One

When we arrived at the breeder’s house, we immediately sought after the dog I had seen in the classifieds section on chron.com. He was smaller than I had imagined but just as adorable.

I was smitten.

The drive home from the breeder was what I imagine it feels like leaving the hospital with a new born baby.  I had this overpowering motherly instinct to protect the confused, defenseless creature now in our care.

We named him Rambo.  Why Rambo?  Well I don’t really know.  Ajax is what we really wanted to name him but everyone kept asking us why we were naming him after a laundry detergent.  My husband is a nerd so he chose the name Ajax referring to the mythological Greek hero.  Anyhow, we both agreed Rambo was perfect. 

A Little Dog Crazy Maybe?

Right away, I learned to admire the way Rambo smells--the space between his paws like Fritos, the inside of his ears like my favorite taquitos from Whataburger.  His breath, I kid you not, suggests that Ramen Noodles are boiling nearby.  And behind those big brown eyes, beneath that fluffy spotted fur, is the most kind, sensitive little soul ever to draw a breath.

Is my attachment to Rambo in some way inappropriate?  Do I subconsciously want him to fill a role he could never occupy, by treating him as a surrogate child?  Is it possible... that I love my dog too much?

While I may care for him with the same passion that a mother does her child, I do recognize that he's not human.  In fact, that's partly why I find our dedication to each other to be so touching; his pure canine-ness moves me like no human being ever has.

Besides, Bo and I still hang out with our friends. We go to human-only dinner parties.  We even travel…..without our dog.

I do have to confess though; I ache for Rambo whenever we leave.  Even now, four years since embracing him into our lives, I constantly get teary-eyed as Bo and I pull away from the dog sitter’s (aka mom and dad’s house) and head toward the airport.  It could be worse right?  At least I don't insist we take separate flights.

Marissa